Braless, Barefoot, and Bare


chair-1604416Over a decade and many more years ago, I was in an on again off again tumultuous relationship with a man, that I would now hardly call a relationship. At the time, he and I were driving in a truck from Dallas back to my home at the time, which was about a 6 hour drive. I was wearing sandals, so I kicked them off, curled my feet up under me, and then slipped my bra off while still wearing my shirt. You ladies know how to do that, right? Right. So anyway, I was just kicking in for being comfortable for the long trip. I slipped the bra into the side pocket of the truck, and I started to read a book I’d brought with me.

When we got to Weatherford, I told him I was hungry and asked if we could stop to get something to eat. He needed to fill up with gas, so we did that first, and while he was filling up, I searched for a place nearby to eat. This was before the days of smartphones and GPS being so popular, so I had to go into the station and ask about places to eat. They suggested a great place just down the street, so when he got back into the truck, I told him about it. We pulled up to the place, and I got ready to get out, slipped my shoes on, and reached for the door handle.

He stopped me and said, “I’m no going in there with you without your bra.” (more…)

The System Finally Broke Me


I give up. I quit. I’m done. Why try? Why even fight the system? In the end, we always lose anyway, right? So why go through the aggravation to even bother? The difference is you either die broke and sick now or you die broke and sick a couple of years later… sigh.

I probably don’t really mean this. I’m probably just depressed and angry. I probably will keep fighting the system.

But today, right now, right in this moment, I’m done.

I’m so done.

I have only three days worth of medication left of the Lovenox injections. And I only have that much left because, depressed and feeling lousy, I went to be last night and forgot to take my injection at all yesterday. Otherwise, I’d only have two days left. (more…)

I Shouldn’t Watch Medical Dramas


So I was going through my medical files, my records from the old hospital that I’m sending to the new doctor to evaluate to see if she will take me into her service. While going through them, I found some diagnoses that no one had ever told me. One of those diagnoses turned out to be something that is actually quite serious. We are absolutely confounded as to why we were never told about this, why no one ever mentioned it, why we were never given treatment options or even warned about this.

I never go to an appointment alone. I always take someone with me. There are just too many things to remember, questions to ask, comments made, etc., to go alone. Someone else should always be with you, especially if there’s going to be treatment plans discussed or bad news given. You don’t always think of the right questions to ask at the right time, or your brain goes numb and you don’t always hear everything.

But in this circumstance, no one EVER mentioned this to us. We find out about it two years later on a radiology report with a note called “incidental”. It was incidental, because the reason for the CT scan was to search for pulmonary embolisms–again–and this thing they found was not a pulmonary embolism.

They found a type of aneurism. A rare one, one that is very uncommon and almost always surgically treated. (more…)

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