Ponder, Wonder, Worry, Wait


I have some lab tests I’m supposed to get done. My doctor faxed the lab requests to Labcorp almost a month ago now. I’ve made three different appointments to go, and somehow, I’ve missed every one of them. They are testing me for paraneoplastic syndrome, as associated with a slow-growing type of cancer or tumor. I probably don’t have it. I’m sure that instead I simply have multiple other rare and unusual conditions, all rolled into one little old me. Even though this diagnosis would make total sense and make a lot of other things come together, certainly, I can’t have cancer.

And as long as I don’t ever get the test done, I’ll never have cancer, right? That’s how this works, right? If you don’t know what’s killing you, you simply don’t die. Right?

Well, it’s not true. I worked in the medical arena a few years in my past, and I know enough to know how important early intervention and diagnosis is for any condition, but particularly with cancer. So I know I should know better.

And yet.. I cancelled one appointment because I didn’t want to get out in the rain. I slept through another one. The other one, I just forgot about.

Yeah… not good, huh? (more…)

This Totally Sucks


I want to introduce you to an online friend of mine. It might be better to call her a PHriend, but many of you won’t understand that. PH stands for the pulmonary hypertension that is part of the CTEPH that I have. It’s a cute way our support group calls each other… we’re PH-friends–phriends. It’s cheesy and it’s cute. Anyway, I have this friend–her name is Catherine Augustine. I met her on the PH support group forums.

One day, I’m positing along like normal, and I get this FB email from someone I’ve never met before. It basically says, “You seem really cool…” and then just goes on chatting about stuff. Normal stuff, kid stuff, etc. This email is so full of life and excitement and joy and this upbeat positive attitude that I forget for a moment that this is a complete stranger to me and I just chuckle. (more…)

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