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Schrodinger’s Cancer

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cat--1439717-mFor those of you who learned about it in college, or who are avid fans of the Big Bang Theory (love that show!), you know about Schrodinger’s cat. It’s basically about how, when you have this cat inside a box, that until you open the box, the cat exists in two different states at the same time. The cat is either alive or dead, and you won’t know until you open the box. So thus, the cat is either both alive and dead or both dead and alive, at the same time. Once you open the box, only one of those possibilities actually is the true state, but until you open the box, both of them exist.

That’s where I am today while waiting for these tests results to determine if I have cancer. I exist in a state where I both do and do not have cancer at the same time. I have, over the past week, spent a lot of time thinking about what I would do, the plans I would make, the doctors I would see, etc., if the test results came back showing I had cancer. I also spent a lot of time thinking about what I would feel like and how I would proceed with treatment of my symptoms if it came back that I did not have cancer. After all, I still have the symptoms that led us to seeking a diagnosis of cancer in the first place. If there is no cancer, what’s causing those symptoms?

So for the past week, I have been existing in a state of two possibilities at the same time: I both do and do not have cancer, at the same time. Schrodinger’s Cancer. (more…)

It Was a Joke; Really, It Was!

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Ugh! So the other day, when I said I wish I had cancer, I was joking, universe. I did NOT mean for you to take me seriously. I was making a metaphorical comparison to cancer and the rare condition known as CTEPH. It wasn’t a request I was sending out to the universe that I have both.

But given the symptoms I’ve been having, and considering that we’re still trying to figure out why I had the blood clots that caused the PEs that caused the CTEPH…. well, basically, when I was hospitalized three years ago with the acute massive pulmonary embolisms in both lungs, everything else was put on hold while we treated and stabilized the acute condition. (more…)

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